What would you do, if your Child wants to Die:

This is difficult. I didn't want to admit that my child I raised, could possibly be at the end of her rope of hope and be dangerously walking the suicide line. What did I do, when I knew she was desperate and had lost all hope and didn't want any help. She isolated herself, and stayed away from family activities.
This was the longest hardest summer of my life, since my first daughter Lindsey died. Now, I was facing the reality of my daughter who was married, wanting to commit suicide. She honestly felt like there was no reason for her to go on. Her husband wanted a divorce, and that was that. Sure, he was young when he married her, but alot of marriages begin young, and grow up together.
She'd been married nearly 3 years, and she adored this guy. You know, there were so many red flags that were going up before she married him, but I talked with her so many times, and she assured me, and had me trust her instincts, and not mine, that things were all good. They weren't. I wasn't going to find this out till almost 3 years later.
I saw the signs,,I knew she didn't come around the house much after she was married, but I'd tell myself, she's making her own way, and I was NOT going to interfere. If she wanted my advice, she'd ask. I didn't want to be one of "those' kinds of mother-in-laws in their marriage. So the times they did come to family events, I was grateful. Yes, we'd talk often on the phone, and sometimes I'd hear something in her voice, but I could tell she didn't want me to ask..... until this summer. The same summer that my youngest daughter was planning her marriage, I found out that my oldest daughter's marriage was not going to make it. Not because she didn't want it to, but because he wanted to move on. I didn't know which way to support her, sometimes I'd do what I knew I shouldn't and tell her to come home and live, and she'd respond,, 'mom, I'm praying for him, isn't that what I'm supposed to do?". Yes. Of course. Pray him back to the fold if necessary. Forgive and move on. But I watched her more and more, and saw her get thinner and thinner, and then one night it started. The phone calls very late at night, in a very tiny whispering voice," mom, can you come stay overnight with me?". My heart was breaking. So many times I couldn't go over because it was already so late and I had to go to work the next morning, or I had already taken my sleeping medicine and didn't want to drive. I was useless at work the next day, because all I could hear was her little desperate voice, asking me to come over.
I call this the summer of my grieving. It surprised me how much I grieved with her. I wasn't angry yet at him, I was scared for her. She kept holding out hope and our family knew the demise of the marriage was imminent. What's so sad is to try to be happy for a child who is planning the beginning of her life in marriage, and knowing the same month she weds, your other child's marriage has died. She started to die that summer. She wouldn't answer calls, she couldn't eat, she wouldn't answer text messages, unless I'd say if you don't answer me I'm coming over right now! She became a recluse. Imagining her husband as a god.
Then came the times when she'd call, and her voice would be shaky and quiet, and she wouldn't say anything but "mom...". It makes me so sad and cry now as I write when I think of her voice and her profound sadness. When you're child hurts, you hurt with them. It doesn't end when they're adult, if anything, it's even more painful because you are entrusting them to someone else's care, and who knows how they may treat them when nobody's around. That's what we found out, in bits and pieces, the horror or her marriage. The secrets she lived with and was controlled by. She didn't know any different. she didn't know what was healthy and what was not. She only knew she wasn't loved anymore. She just felt that the one person who knew her best, didn't want her anylonger. She was like an old ragdoll tossed to the side, and told to "get over it ". It would have been easier for my family if she could "just get over it", but get real, how do you end the promise of your future? How can people just tell other people, to just move on. Don't they know that you can't just get over a spouse? What kind of heartlessness is that? It was uncomfortable for everyone, so I guess they would feel better if She felt better. It wasn't going to happen, in any time soon. My precious child, preferred to die than to live without him. She teeter-tottered on the edge of rope, barely hanging on, fading away every day. Quieter, disappearing from us and reality. The truth is, I understood her. I understood how painful and rude it is for someone to think that your marriage was just something to get over. To not acknowledge her life with him was a slap in the face. I'll tell you more about how the summer went and how she barely lived and nearly died. My daughter, my life. God thank you for bringing her this far, and Dear Lord, thank you that she is loved again. Yes Lord, she was always loved by you, but the dark one kept blocking you from her view.